Lasting Memories
Barbara Van Slyke
Sept. 26, 1931-April 23, 2011
Stanford, California
On April 23, 2011, Barbara Heaps Van Slyke, a resident of Stanford since 1967, died peacefully of lung cancer, surrounded by her family and close friends.
She had a long and successful career as a psychotherapist. She was also an accomplished musician, with a deep love for the harpsichord and baroque era music, especially that of J.S. Bach.
Born in Chicago on Sept. 26, 1931, to Porter and Dorothy Heaps, she grew up in Evanston, where her father was an internationally known organist. She attended Carleton College, and in 1954 received a B.S. in education from Northwestern.
In July 1953, she married Lyman P. Van Slyke, then in Naval service based at NAS Alameda. They later lived in Berkeley, where he earned his Ph.D. in Chinese history at the University of California. During this period two sons and a daughter were born. They also lived for three years in Taiwan before and just after her husband joined the Stanford University faculty in 1963.
In 1971, Barbara earned an MSW degree from the University of California at Berkeley, thus beginning a career as social worker and therapist that continued until February 2011.
She also had a deep commitment to the recovery process and to its fellowship, from which she drew many of her closest friends. She also had a passion for her garden. She and her husband traveled often, both domestically and abroad, especially to Asia. Always a strong swimmer, in her later years she participated in short-course triathlons. In 2003, she finished first in her age group at the Pacific Grove Triathlon. It didn't matter to her that she was the only entrant in the over-70 category.
Barbara is survived by her husband of nearly 58 years; by her children, Peter (Denise), John (Susan), and Elizabeth; by four grandchildren; by her sister (Portia); by many nieces, nephews, and cousins; and by a wide circle of friends and former clients whom she loved and who loved her.
We wish also to thank the Kaiser Hospice Program for its unfailing care and consideration. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be sent to the San Francisco Early Music Society, to the Philharmonia Baroque Orchestra, or to the charity of your choice.
A memorial celebration will be held at St. Mark's Episcopal Church, 600 Colorado Ave., Palo Alto, on Friday, June 10, at 2 p.m.
June 13, 2011
I was heartbroken yesterday to hear of Barbara's passing, from someone from Palo Alto, whom I met at a party. I met Barbara 6.5 years ago, when I first got married. Over the years, I have shared so much with her and learned so much from her. What a lovely, spiritual, funny and wise woman! and how well she related to people! I had no idea she had cancer, she was always so strong ... and she loved her family so much. My condolences to Lyman, Elizabeth, and the rest of the family. Barbara often referred to her family with great pride and love, and took a huge delight in her close comradery, as she put it, with her daughter. She called herself the matriarch, like an elephant, of the family. I love her and will miss her! I had not written to her for about 2 years. Suchitra
May 15, 2011
I just had an etherial expierience where western tanagers were stopping on their northerly migration in the calm, green debts of our alley. I stood watching them fly about in some towering laurels as if barb was right there with me and delighting as ownly she could at the beauty of it all. A steady light drifting of cherry petals were wafting about and i knew my friend Barb would always be there for these beautiful moments. she never liked to miss anything special.
May 14, 2011
I am deeply touched by Barbara's courage and grace in the way she lived her life and how she lived her dying process. I remember her well as a student, colleague, and friend in breathexperience and I sense joy in having known her each year when my amarylllis blooms that she gave me as a gift when she graduated as a breath practitioner after 3 1/2 years! ~ Margot Biestman, Sausalito, Sonoma, California
May 14, 2011
My visits with Barbara were inspiring for me. From the first, when I saw her riding her bike to her little office and glimpsed a wonderful red sofa inside, I felt at home. Her practical approach helped me solve some real issues I faced in caring for my own parents and brother and I appreciated her support and encouragement during all my visits with her. I will always remember her as she spoke of her garden, her garden, and the pleasure that music brought to her. She was a wonderful teacher.
May 13, 2011
What a beautiful person. I am so grateful to have had Barbara in my life. I will remember her wit and her wisdom. And her fine generosity and that of her family in sharing her life with the many of us who love her.