Caroline Lee Orr-Kissner
Dec. 31, 1948-Oct. 2, 2025
Los Altos, California
The world lost a little sparkle on October 2, 2025, when Caroline Lee Orr-Kissner peacefully passed away at age 76 - on her 49th wedding anniversary, surrounded by love. Born in Palo Alto, California, Cary lived a life full of heart, humor, family and friends.
She was the beloved daughter of Lee and Cornelia Orr and is survived by her devoted husband Chuck Kissner, her sister Kathy, children Lea and Lauren Kissner, and four grandchildren: Amelia, Martin, Caroline, and Charlie. She leaves a legacy of love that stretches far beyond her immediate family to many lifelong friends.
Cary grew up in Palo Alto and never let go of her high school crew, affectionately known as the “Paly Gals.” She earned a master’s degree in public administration and spent her early career at United Cerebral Palsy, championing the integration of disabled individuals into the workplace. She met Chuck on Halloween Day in 1974, when he received an award related to her work. On their third date she prepared a frozen Stouffer’s lasagna, and somehow that sealed the deal. They married in 1976, and Cary went on to raise their two children as the family followed Chuck’s work around the country.
Though accomplished in education and work, Cary made the bold and beautiful decision to devote her energy to the community. She volunteered endlessly: running a soup kitchen, supporting schools, comforting veterans in hospice, and even bringing joy through therapy dogs. Her heart had a special place for those at the end of life, offering presence and peace when it was needed most.
Her home reflected her heart - filled with greeting cards, many exchanged with her beloved husband. Notes like “I love you Bunny” and countless other expressions of affection were tucked into drawers, displayed on shelves, and lovingly preserved as daily reminders of a lifelong romance.
Cary was delightfully endearing. She had a flair for storytelling (slightly embellished for dramatic effect), often punctuating tales with her forefinger thrust in the air - a gesture that became her signature. She loved See’s candy so much that it became her primary food group in her final days. Most of all, Cary believed in the power of a good list. She made them for everything – social events, projects for her husband, and ways to keep family connected. Whether or not they solved problems was debatable, but they were tangible reminders of how much she cared.
Her compassion was contagious, her generosity boundless, and her ability to create love and laughter unmatched. Cary’s legacy is one of deep connection, community uplift, and a reminder that sometimes the best way to solve a problem is with a list… or at least a good story.
A Celebration of Life will be held at a later date. In the meantime, raise your forefinger in her honor, eat a piece of See’s candy, and make a list - just because.
In lieu of flowers, donations in Cary’s honor may be made to KQED, honoring her commitment to public broadcasting, Avenidas, supporting lifelong learning, or Mission Hospice, providing compassionate care at the end of life.
